Tables, Chairs, Shoes, and Tunes
I journal at Starbucks comfortably in my Black Boots
With Teenagers to my right
Spreading small town tales of Boys and Girls,
A couple of Indian uncles converse behind me in Hindi
A group of Asian boys with Red Caps circle together
With Handshakes and many topics to share
A Round Old Man in a Blue Sweatshirt stares at his laptop
As He is propped up on his Stool
The Starbucks Princess with her Crown,
Lights up the Caffeinated atmosphere
In the Winding days of a California Christmas.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
"Soaring"
Learning to let go
All the fears buried deep inside
Like a Bird with wounded wings
Emerges into the sky once more
Ready to soar despite the scars
Of many yesterdays
It is free once again
And a new life is born.
All the fears buried deep inside
Like a Bird with wounded wings
Emerges into the sky once more
Ready to soar despite the scars
Of many yesterdays
It is free once again
And a new life is born.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My 2-Day Experiment!
It's been quite a while since I've blogged about life, but I felt compelled to do so because I just engaged in a 2-day life experiment. After having trotted the globe domestically and internationally, from Boston, to LA, to Italy and back, I was in great need of some inward solo time. Seeing that no upcoming 3-day Vipassana sits were approaching, I just decided to simulate a 2-day solo sit at my home in Cupertino and oh yes, while having my parents around. I laid down the ground rules for them which basically was, "no talking to me for a 30-hour period." I purchased the necessary fruits, vegetables, and grains, for a veggie-based diet. In fact, I ended up juicing the fruits (strawberries, oranges, bananas, including the pulp and orange peel-big mistake!) and veggies (zuchinni, carrots, onions, celery-pulp included) from my recently bought JackLaLane Juicer to make for a nutritious, balanced, and incredibly digusting liquid-based breakfast and lunch respectively! I then, printed out the Vipassana timetable to serve as a structural guideline for my meditation, and then just let it all unravel within.
Here are my post 2-day impressions:
First of all, I highly recommend it for anyone who feels confused or mired in chaos, needs time for themselves, wants to cleanse, is short on cash, and needs more self-loving. What I don't recommend is juicing your fruits and veggies for your cleansing process! While healthy and quick, those juices did quite a number on my taste buds. I could barely swallow it. In fact, I tried to swallow it directly so I didn't have to taste it. 2 slices of wheat bread with peanut butter and a glass of milk, was the highlight of my 2-day diet-it was my dinner! :) I of course, got my needed Vitamin A, C, Betacarotene, Boron, and Natural Aspirin from those juices, but the process of getting them was so painful! It truly was super-nasty!! I think I was just too excited about this juicer I got from this infommercial that I thought this 2-day was the perfect time to inaugurate the machine. While the machine itself worked well, there was quite a discrepancy between how the fruit and veggie juices were described in the infommercial (i.e. they said it "tasted great,") and the reality of their taste!! Vipassana got the diet part right. Their food was good and thus, getting through those meditation sits, provided a comforting reward when meal time came. Sadly, I couldn't experience the same joy. I found my green tea with honey and jugs of water to be my liquids of comfort! Oh well! I did live and learn through it! Next time.
Okay, enough about food. Back to the actual sit.
This is what I initially felt&wrote after my sit:
I have just emerged from my 2 day sit. It was quite a life experiment. In fact, I ended up looking at my home with a fresh perspective, (literally from different angles during my breaks, when I would head outside in our backyard, lie under the sun on the grass, and stare at our lovely peach-colored Mexican-styled home). I did things I had never done before (like, take a bubble bath lol). I just immersed myself in introspective silence and read Krishnamurti's 'Reflections on the Self' during my tea and meals breaks. I even did an exercise I learned from a Korean-based yoga workshop I had recently done (where you stare at yourself in the mirror for 10 minutes). This exercise was random and rather comical for me. I ended up being really goofy during that part and making funny expressions. ;) Anyways, as far as the actual sit goes, I did roll through a range of varying thoughts, trying to connect with my breathing, mapping out my next life phase, surrendering, producing minimal tears, and showering myself with 'metta' or wishes of love and kindness to myself by sending nourishing positive thoughts my way.
One cool thing that arose, the night before I sat down on my meditation blanket with my multi-colored shawls to meditate, was that I felt like I had a sense of my passion and what I truly want to do right now in this chapter of my life--that is teach kids at the J. Krishnamurti school in Chennai. I feel in so many ways, that ever since I left India in '06, I've been desperately trying to make my way back there (or my intuition keeps telling me that, and there are so many subtle and not so subtle reminders that keep signaling me to as well). Now, I feel I have a purpose in returning to India, not just to contribute the lives of others, but to grow internally, to feel how those children can enrich and contribute to my own, and because ultimately, it is the only thing that makes sense for me right now, when I reflect upon my life and how I want to live it.
Another interesting point to note is that my parents had to adapt to the unusually silent environment for a 30 hour period. You can even ask my parents about their experience as witnesses to the experiment. In fact, they had to creatively orient themselves to the new environment their daughter had cultivated around them. The little things that occurred were rather funny since the interaction had to be non-verbal. For example, my mom would patiently wait for me to finish using the kitchen sink when I was washing my dishes or find something else she could do in the kitchen to utilize her time. My Dad tried to cause me to react by making smily faces, wildly flailing his arms, and making childlike gestures at me. All in all though, they listened and tried to respect the silent space.
Anyways, those are some initial impressions, post-2day. Hope you all enjoyed it and let me know if you try the experiment at your home! Peacefully.
~M
Here are my post 2-day impressions:
First of all, I highly recommend it for anyone who feels confused or mired in chaos, needs time for themselves, wants to cleanse, is short on cash, and needs more self-loving. What I don't recommend is juicing your fruits and veggies for your cleansing process! While healthy and quick, those juices did quite a number on my taste buds. I could barely swallow it. In fact, I tried to swallow it directly so I didn't have to taste it. 2 slices of wheat bread with peanut butter and a glass of milk, was the highlight of my 2-day diet-it was my dinner! :) I of course, got my needed Vitamin A, C, Betacarotene, Boron, and Natural Aspirin from those juices, but the process of getting them was so painful! It truly was super-nasty!! I think I was just too excited about this juicer I got from this infommercial that I thought this 2-day was the perfect time to inaugurate the machine. While the machine itself worked well, there was quite a discrepancy between how the fruit and veggie juices were described in the infommercial (i.e. they said it "tasted great,") and the reality of their taste!! Vipassana got the diet part right. Their food was good and thus, getting through those meditation sits, provided a comforting reward when meal time came. Sadly, I couldn't experience the same joy. I found my green tea with honey and jugs of water to be my liquids of comfort! Oh well! I did live and learn through it! Next time.
Okay, enough about food. Back to the actual sit.
This is what I initially felt&wrote after my sit:
I have just emerged from my 2 day sit. It was quite a life experiment. In fact, I ended up looking at my home with a fresh perspective, (literally from different angles during my breaks, when I would head outside in our backyard, lie under the sun on the grass, and stare at our lovely peach-colored Mexican-styled home). I did things I had never done before (like, take a bubble bath lol). I just immersed myself in introspective silence and read Krishnamurti's 'Reflections on the Self' during my tea and meals breaks. I even did an exercise I learned from a Korean-based yoga workshop I had recently done (where you stare at yourself in the mirror for 10 minutes). This exercise was random and rather comical for me. I ended up being really goofy during that part and making funny expressions. ;) Anyways, as far as the actual sit goes, I did roll through a range of varying thoughts, trying to connect with my breathing, mapping out my next life phase, surrendering, producing minimal tears, and showering myself with 'metta' or wishes of love and kindness to myself by sending nourishing positive thoughts my way.
One cool thing that arose, the night before I sat down on my meditation blanket with my multi-colored shawls to meditate, was that I felt like I had a sense of my passion and what I truly want to do right now in this chapter of my life--that is teach kids at the J. Krishnamurti school in Chennai. I feel in so many ways, that ever since I left India in '06, I've been desperately trying to make my way back there (or my intuition keeps telling me that, and there are so many subtle and not so subtle reminders that keep signaling me to as well). Now, I feel I have a purpose in returning to India, not just to contribute the lives of others, but to grow internally, to feel how those children can enrich and contribute to my own, and because ultimately, it is the only thing that makes sense for me right now, when I reflect upon my life and how I want to live it.
Another interesting point to note is that my parents had to adapt to the unusually silent environment for a 30 hour period. You can even ask my parents about their experience as witnesses to the experiment. In fact, they had to creatively orient themselves to the new environment their daughter had cultivated around them. The little things that occurred were rather funny since the interaction had to be non-verbal. For example, my mom would patiently wait for me to finish using the kitchen sink when I was washing my dishes or find something else she could do in the kitchen to utilize her time. My Dad tried to cause me to react by making smily faces, wildly flailing his arms, and making childlike gestures at me. All in all though, they listened and tried to respect the silent space.
Anyways, those are some initial impressions, post-2day. Hope you all enjoyed it and let me know if you try the experiment at your home! Peacefully.
~M
Monday, July 7, 2008
"My New Buddy"
I came downstairs after several hours of hitting the books (I’ve been studying for the Cali bar exam) and saw a lovely, plush, soft golden teddy bear, with floppy doglike ears sitting on our rotating stool chairs in the kitchen. I felt compelled to pick it up with love and hug it close to me as I felt the gentle stuffed animal’s fur. Wondering exactly who it was for, thinking that it must be for a baby within our community of family friends, I ran over to my (older) nephew, and before I could say anything, he said, “hey did you see that little teddy bear there?” After I said, “yes,” he said it was for me. In that moment, the little girl trapped inside a 28-year old leaped with joy! I was so excited that I awkwardly hugged my nephew and seeing that I had one more round of studying to go, I decided that this precious little animal, that I just named, “pooky” could make the whole process a little softer….Since I planned to study the last hour in a café, I carried my new friend with me, safely buckled him with a seatbelt, in my Honda civic passenger seat, and blazed off to coffee society with a smile! It felt good to embrace the kid within! LOL!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
A Gift of Gratitude
So I got my bills for the month, and you know what that usually feels like. I just first look at them sitting on my counter and pretend they don’t exist. I leave them sealed in the envelope, untouched and abandoned. Yet, I still mentally keep track of when they most likely will be due, so I don’t incur a late fee and compound the problem. So, today became the day I would pay my therapy bill since I was going to see my therapist. Instead of quickly scribbling down the check amount after analyzing the itemized break down of his billing rates to make sure there were no financial errors, I rushed out my open front door into change. While I still was in a hurry to make it to my 6:00 pm appointment in downtown Palo Alto, I was hurrying to reach something new…Inspired by the spirit of those karma kitchen cooks, I wrote the check for my therapist, but this time, I tacked an extra little hundred onto the payment, tucked the check into an envelope, left it with him after my appointment, and ran off, leaving him with a gift. The gift was not about the money, but the gratitude I felt for his sincerity in helping me improve how I live my life.
That, to me, is priceless. :)
That, to me, is priceless. :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
"Sparkly Smiles"
I went to get my pearly whites, whiter the other day and had a moment with the hygienist. so, as she cleaned my teeth with her technical instruments (do not know dentist nomenclature), we started talking about a series of random topics that ranged from how the ancient chinese believed the best time for bed is around 10pm because your internal organs function better since you’re more biologically aligned for digestion (LOL), to talking about true friendships and the strong foundation that lies beneath them, to showing me a picture of her precious newborn baby….in fact, we seemed to be talking so much, that I hardly felt the pricks of these slender metallic pencil-like tools, or the gritty flavored paste that polished my teeth, and we laughed so much that I was not even ready to leave. As a token of my joy, I tagged her! Although not anonymous, I wanted to leave behind a smile, since she so kindly put one back on my face!
Btw, no cavities!!! :)
Btw, no cavities!!! :)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
"In Honor of Father's Day: Remembering Tim Russert"
Hi Everyone and especially to all of the Fathers of the world:
As your Father’s day comes to a close wherever you may be, I thought I would honor the day through remembering a father in particular who was perhaps a father in more ways than he realized.
The tragic news of hearing of the passing of MSNBC’s beloved star of Meet the Press, Tim Russert, deeply moved me, in fact to tears. It was hard to capture the rationale behind how or explain why I felt so deeply about his loss until I dug a little deeper. It’s as if I didn’t have to personally know or meet him to cry about his passing. He was just someone who you knew was a good person because his presence seemed to shine through the television screen. The smile he brought with his prosecutorial-like cross-examination questions to politicians on both sides of the spectrum had the paradoxical effect of being both intimidating yet sweet, akin to what some might call, “a velvet hammer.” I saw him as one of those journalists who brought joy and enthusiasm to his profession by seeking ultimately what was important —“truth” but always with a smile.
As someone who has only more recently become engaged in politics, I felt that since January of this year in our family’s ritualistic nightly viewings of the tumultuous and exciting Democratic primary season on the local networks, Tim was a fixture in “our family’s living room,” as he was to many others across the country.
While TV is often considered an addictive, distracting, passive mode of entertainment, for some reason, this guy seemed to turn all that around as he livened up the television set, (and in turn enlivened the viewers as well) through the probing questions he asked to his guests who came on his show and took “the witness stand.” His dedication to sticking to the facts, the proof , (the truth), combined with his demeanor as a chubby-cheeked, middle-aged, home-town, father, with a sharp wit and a constant grin, made him lovable and endearing or as the “Meet the Press” crew called him, “beloved.”
On the night of June 3, 2008, when Barack Obama clinched the Democratic Nomination for President, I noticed that while many of the news anchors were excited to announce that Barack Obama had won, Tim, for some reason stood apart from the rest. In fact, he was glowing with happiness that day saying that he was so excited to be a part of this primary season in politics that it made him feel almost compelled to go to classrooms and teach children about how history was being made in politics in that moment. You could just feel the sincerity of his presence. It was almost as if, (and I said this that day to my nephew), that, “this man is so happy right now, I think he might just jump out of the television screen.”
I was so crushed to hear during my lunch break on Friday, June, 13, 2008, that Tim had tragically died due to heart failure and when I started to connect with others about it, I began to see how this wave of empathy for the loss swept across many of our hearts which opened up to the moment as it gripped our country. I began to understand more clearly that this man affected us more acutely because while he made a great contribution to our lives through his work, I think he affected us even more through the way he treated others. He was perhaps one of the few journalists who did not personally attack those who held differing views from his own and he even willingly went on Fox News to be interviewed by the often criticized “Bill O’Reilly” and “Hannity & Colmes!!
Having been so impacted by the loss of this inspirational figure, I even briefly spoke about it with my bar exam instructor, who left me with two positive remarks which I thought were profound. He said that “he raised a wonderful son” and that “those who have passed on are still teaching us. They are still here teaching us, just not in the same form---not through the same dimension.”
To many of us, Tim was the “Father of Meet the Press,” but as I just recently learned, he was first and foremost, the Father to his son Luke who just graduated from Boston College and despite the passion for politics this man imparted to us all, he cared most deeply for his family first. He seemed to be so grateful for the values of what his own father taught him about working hard, having discipline, following his dreams, and doing what he could to make sure his son received an education, namely working two jobs, (one of which included the humbling role of a garbage collector.)
As ironic as it may seem that I genuinely cried for what some might say was a “television personality,” or someone who I didn’t really know, I would say that I didn’t just see him as just another figure on television casting news, because to me, he wasn’t a personality. He was a person. To me, he was real---and that’s personal.
I will leave all of you with this touching and inspirational clip that captures Father’s Day through Tim’s words as they can again enliven us all, and this time, speaking not about his understanding of politics, but rather his understanding of the unconditional love of a father.
I wish you all a very Happy Father’s Day!
With Love,
~Mitu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwy-c2um5ZI
As your Father’s day comes to a close wherever you may be, I thought I would honor the day through remembering a father in particular who was perhaps a father in more ways than he realized.
The tragic news of hearing of the passing of MSNBC’s beloved star of Meet the Press, Tim Russert, deeply moved me, in fact to tears. It was hard to capture the rationale behind how or explain why I felt so deeply about his loss until I dug a little deeper. It’s as if I didn’t have to personally know or meet him to cry about his passing. He was just someone who you knew was a good person because his presence seemed to shine through the television screen. The smile he brought with his prosecutorial-like cross-examination questions to politicians on both sides of the spectrum had the paradoxical effect of being both intimidating yet sweet, akin to what some might call, “a velvet hammer.” I saw him as one of those journalists who brought joy and enthusiasm to his profession by seeking ultimately what was important —“truth” but always with a smile.
As someone who has only more recently become engaged in politics, I felt that since January of this year in our family’s ritualistic nightly viewings of the tumultuous and exciting Democratic primary season on the local networks, Tim was a fixture in “our family’s living room,” as he was to many others across the country.
While TV is often considered an addictive, distracting, passive mode of entertainment, for some reason, this guy seemed to turn all that around as he livened up the television set, (and in turn enlivened the viewers as well) through the probing questions he asked to his guests who came on his show and took “the witness stand.” His dedication to sticking to the facts, the proof , (the truth), combined with his demeanor as a chubby-cheeked, middle-aged, home-town, father, with a sharp wit and a constant grin, made him lovable and endearing or as the “Meet the Press” crew called him, “beloved.”
On the night of June 3, 2008, when Barack Obama clinched the Democratic Nomination for President, I noticed that while many of the news anchors were excited to announce that Barack Obama had won, Tim, for some reason stood apart from the rest. In fact, he was glowing with happiness that day saying that he was so excited to be a part of this primary season in politics that it made him feel almost compelled to go to classrooms and teach children about how history was being made in politics in that moment. You could just feel the sincerity of his presence. It was almost as if, (and I said this that day to my nephew), that, “this man is so happy right now, I think he might just jump out of the television screen.”
I was so crushed to hear during my lunch break on Friday, June, 13, 2008, that Tim had tragically died due to heart failure and when I started to connect with others about it, I began to see how this wave of empathy for the loss swept across many of our hearts which opened up to the moment as it gripped our country. I began to understand more clearly that this man affected us more acutely because while he made a great contribution to our lives through his work, I think he affected us even more through the way he treated others. He was perhaps one of the few journalists who did not personally attack those who held differing views from his own and he even willingly went on Fox News to be interviewed by the often criticized “Bill O’Reilly” and “Hannity & Colmes!!
Having been so impacted by the loss of this inspirational figure, I even briefly spoke about it with my bar exam instructor, who left me with two positive remarks which I thought were profound. He said that “he raised a wonderful son” and that “those who have passed on are still teaching us. They are still here teaching us, just not in the same form---not through the same dimension.”
To many of us, Tim was the “Father of Meet the Press,” but as I just recently learned, he was first and foremost, the Father to his son Luke who just graduated from Boston College and despite the passion for politics this man imparted to us all, he cared most deeply for his family first. He seemed to be so grateful for the values of what his own father taught him about working hard, having discipline, following his dreams, and doing what he could to make sure his son received an education, namely working two jobs, (one of which included the humbling role of a garbage collector.)
As ironic as it may seem that I genuinely cried for what some might say was a “television personality,” or someone who I didn’t really know, I would say that I didn’t just see him as just another figure on television casting news, because to me, he wasn’t a personality. He was a person. To me, he was real---and that’s personal.
I will leave all of you with this touching and inspirational clip that captures Father’s Day through Tim’s words as they can again enliven us all, and this time, speaking not about his understanding of politics, but rather his understanding of the unconditional love of a father.
I wish you all a very Happy Father’s Day!
With Love,
~Mitu
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwy-c2um5ZI
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